You'll never get a book deal with that resolution.

“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.”
― Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten

Did you make a resolution?  I didn't.  I couldn't think of any that I haven't already made and failed at.  Which got me to thinking.  If I often make some effort to come up with a resolution at this time of year and then repeatedly fail at these resolutions, maybe I need to rethink my strategy.  

On that note, here are my resolutions:

1.  I will never turn in a library book on time again.  Ever.  Those fines help (very indirectly) pay my wages, and I need to support the library by paying them.

2.  I will spend more time sleeping.  Or, at least sleeping when I should be awake.  Naps are not okay.  I need to sleep until the morning is almost over.  To accomplish this, I need to stay up until the wee hours of the morning.  Preferrably long enough that I only get a few hours of sleep before lunch.  Which makes napping in the afternoon a bad idea since I would have only just gotten up. 

3.  I will get more screen time.  

4.  I will cut down on the amount of time I spend cleaning and organizing my house.  One person should only do so much.

5.  I will read nothing but romance novels.  But just one per month.

6.  I will gaze into every sunny sky looking for a dark cloud.  Not just figuratively either.

7.  I will eat more butter.  I love butter.  I will eat more of it.

Maybe that's all a little too tongue in cheek and just invites trouble.  I should probably stick to some of the same resolutions my sister came up with.  Things like:

1.  I will put my pants on the right way.  If the tag is in the front, I will switch them around.

2.  When I wear socks I'll wear one on each foot.  Unless it's super cold outside and then I might wear two socks on each foot.  At no time when I wear socks will I have zero socks on my feet.

I'm fond of the one about socks.  Maybe I'll just keep it simple and stick to that one.  You'll notice that it says nothing about the socks having to match.  That should make it a resolution that is much easier to accomplish.

It's fun to make resolutions, I'm just not any good at keeping them for very long.  At least not the ones made around the first of the year.  But maybe if I break any of these resolutions I won't feel too guilty.  I might even be happy about it.

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”
― Aleister Crowley, Moonchild